You'll Never Love Me Back
by Autistic Lance
Summary: Kazuto has a wife he has his heart and soul wholly dedicated to. Suguha knows this—and she hates it. She knows full well her feelings will never be returned, and she is unable to move on. Of everyone she could have fallen for, why did it have to be Kazuto? [Rated T for suicide.]


**Author's Note: I should be doing other things, but I'll regretfully admit that I'm not all that sorry. On top of this, I'm working on a Miku/Luka (Vocaloid) fic and a Yukio/Rin (Ao no Exorcist) fic. Not sorry about that, either. Anyway, onward~!**

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Suguha lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. What was anything worth anymore? The love of her life was married, and she couldn't ever compete against his wife. But what chance could she have had in the first place? Kazuto was her brother—cousin, rather, stepbrother as well, although they may as well have been siblings by blood anyway. He only loved her as his little sister, didn't he? And even if she had just been another girl he eventually came to be friends with, she would never be able to compete against Asuna anyway. Asuna was prettier, had a better personality from what Suguha could tell, and was probably more talented. Kazuto had done more things with her as well.

But it should have been Suguha—_she_ should have been the one to fight by his side, _she_ should have been the one to risk his life for him, _she_ should have been the one he fell in love with. So why did it have to be Asuna who gained Kazuto's heart in the end? She didn't deserve it. Suguha surely had more love for her brother than his own wife did, right? So _she_ should have been his wife instead.

Drawing in a deep breath and slowly releasing it, Suguha got up and opened her window. She leaned out of it, planting the palms of her hands on the sill to keep her supported. It was nighttime, but since she hadn't been called downstairs for dinner yet, she doubted anyone would be sleeping. And even if they had been, she probably still wouldn't have cared if she was waking anyone up. She needed something to vent, and there was no way talking to Kazuto was an option. She inhaled another deep breath, and used it to put as much strength and volume into her shout as she possibly could—

"SCREW YOU, ASUNA! I HATE YOU!"

Of course, she didn't truly and genuinely mean the words that she had screamed—she couldn't hate someone like Asuna. Rather, she hated that the orange-haired beauty had stolen Kazuto's heart from her. A better word for her feelings toward the young woman herself was jealousy.

She slammed the window shut, then collapsed onto the floor. Why, why, why, _why_—and _what_? What had she done against whatever deity out there—or if not that, whatever force of nature—to push it to the extent of hurting her so badly? What had she ever done to deserve such pain and heartbreak? She loved Kazuto more than anyone else ever could, and she could be sure she would treat him better than Asuna._  
_

Her body jerked with each of her violent sobs, and she was certain there would be no way to stop the tears. Not now—it was getting too painful to love her brother, but she just couldn't get over him. And she never would.

A few moments of silence—save for the sound of her choking on both her tears and the knot in her throat—passed before she heard a knock on her bedroom door. Surely it was Kazuto, and while she wanted to scream at him to go away and never bother her again, she couldn't manage a single word.

Apparently, though, that meant Suguha was granting permission to enter. Which she certainly wasn't, but her brother obviously didn't gather that, as he slowly opened the door and allowed himself into his younger sister's room. Remaining unable to demand that he leave, she decided not to react at all. Perhaps that was the best decision to make in that situation. Not that she would be able to gather the strength to make any other move anyway.

"Suguha...?"

He sounded unsure of what to say, but Suguha couldn't blame him. The concern in Kazuto's voice caused a small spark of happiness to spark inside her, though it was immediately put out. It was _his_ voice—the same voice that had confessed love to Asuna, that talked about her constantly, and with that going through her head, she didn't want to hear that voice. She swallowed back the knot in her throat, just long enough to yell at him.

"Go away!"

"S—"

"Just _go_!"

Hesitation.

"...I'll be in my room if you want to talk."

After a couple seconds, she heard her door close again. She was sorry—really, genuinely sorry. She wanted to apologize right away, but there's no way she could do that. And that only added to the mental list she had been trying so hard and failing to keep herself from keeping track of on reasons why Kazuto's wasn't ever going to be hers. Asuna would never yell at him and then not do so much as apologize for it, would she? Suguha didn't have any firsthand experience to base her hypothesis on, but she thought not.

What could anything possibly be worth anymore?

_Absolutely nothing,_ she decided. It was impossible to keep herself from coming to that conclusion. It seemed every day made everything so much harder. The fact Kazuto had a wife and was entirely devoted to her should have made her get over it, and she was sure it would if she gave it time, but she lost hope of it ever happening. And so, she decided it was time for her to resort to her final coping method.

She got down on her stomach and reached under her bed. She couldn't rightfully say it was a "coping method," but if there wasn't any rightfully-called coping method that would help, this was as close as she would come to it. She had been keeping a noose she had made specially for the occasion in which she felt unable to continue living. At this point she found herself at, no video game could help her clear her mind and focus on the positive things, it usually only served to remind her of how hurt she was when she had began falling for Kirito only to find out he and Kazuto were the same person. Now she was going to put it to use.

Taking one end of it, she went to her closet and tied it around the cylindrical wood bar near the ceiling of her closet and made sure it would be effective. As long as it didn't come undone under her weight, it should work.

For a split second, she considered writing a suicide note. But what was the point? Kazuto surely would know the reason behind her actions, so there was no reason to suffer for another moment. She stood on her toes so she could put the noose around her neck, lifted her feet from the floor, and—

_Crack._

Suguha Kirigaya was dead.

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**Author's Note: Hnnnn...poor Suguha. I can't understand how there are people who hate her. From what I can tell, people make her out to be that character who only exists to try to steal the affections of the main character from his significant other, while I can't view her as anything aside from a character who has hardships and struggles to make her more realistic and help add more emotion to the plot—in this case, it just happens that this character to lock away romantic feelings because the person she loves is already taken. It's impossible for me to _not_ sympathize with her, because the struggle with getting over love she can only have returned to her in her dreams is a very real struggle for some people, and it's awful to have to struggle through. I myself have been in this kind of situation before, and it's utterly horrid.**

**Anyway, please review~ ^-^**


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